A Klutzy Flub - Four

Ahh… It’s awkward. She thinks of a way to cool things down, but he’s all that’s occupying her mind.

Is she going to let it go? Go on like nothing happened? She doesn’t know! He got her brain tangled in a whole new way. Let’s see what he would do, eh?

His name is on her search ever since she had eyes on him. So now, whenever he tweets, she gets to be updated by and by. She couldn’t help it, she had to do something.

Her: Do you, by any chance, feel awkward around me?

Him: Nope. I don’t.

Her: Good! Good…

-He’s lying… I’m a girl, I can sense it-

Him: Why would you think that I feel awkward around you?

Her: Err… Because of all the awkward situations that you went thru… Because of me. I mean, you did mention that people came to you and that it’s very “out there”…

Him: Don’t worry about it, I can handle myself. I’m worried about you.

Her: Haha why!

Him: For obvious reasons. Anyways, are my tweets that revealing about me?

Her: Obvious? I wouldn’t ask why if they were… Define “revealing”?

Him: I mean, how can one feel ‘something’ about another from these few tweets when one didn’t even meet another in real life? Cryptic much?

Her: You’d be amazed to know how much just a scene or an incident or even a couple of words affect one’s heart. But then again, how’d you know? :)

Him: I’m talking from experience here, people on Twitter can be VERY different from the image we construct of them.

Her: Haha okay this will sound a little too straight forward from a girl but I think I like your Twitter image quite enough.

Him: That’s the problem! This ‘image’ we construct can be very problematic in the future when/if we meet in person.

Her: You're talking like there aren't people on Twitter who know you in person! There are, and they don't despise you, it would obviously show if you had another personality or whatever… Wouldn't it?

Him: Well, I sure don’t have another personality. It’s just that Twitter is not a good representative of what real life interaction is.

Her: I know what you mean; I’m old enough to realize that. Anyhow, it’s just a feeling, why’d you care anyway? It happens.

Him: Lol I care because, apparently, I’m part of it. Of course I’ll care.

Her: You don't want to be, I know, and it's okay. Think of it as something "fictional". As in, I did what I did so I'd just add something interesting to my life…

-Sigh… This is getting outta hand…-

Him: Yeah well, it’s hard to lie to myself :P I’ll try though.

-EndOfPartFour-

A Klutzy Flub - Three

She was determined. It’s either she waits until he notices her, or she takes an action. She knew one thing for sure, she could NOT wait; she just sat there, staring at his Twitter profile, his timeline, wondering how to start.

She made a scenario of her own. A few, actually. You know why? Because whatever his reaction would be, she’ll be prepared. She didn’t know that when she is going to be in the situation itself, her hands would tremble as if he’s standing right in front of her, gazing right in her eyes, staring at her foolish face.

Her eyes shift to the right, sweeping thru the links, her fingers slowly click on “message X”. She would’ve died for a disconnected Internet service at that very exact moment, but no…

Her: I love you.

-Ohh dammit… It’ been 3 minutes and he haven’t replied yet!! I shouldn't have done this...-

Him: Umm… Mistaken? :P

Her: Umm… No.

Him: Ok. And that is based on what?

-Err… How am I ever going to tell him... I guess I'm gonna pass just this once-

Her: Nevermnd…

Him: Heeey! I wasn’t trying to be an asshole, sorry! ._.

-Hahaha cute…-

Her: No, no… I’m being the “asshole”, nevermind.

Him: Yeah? How?

Her: Err… Nevermind.

Him: As you wish.

-… That’s it? Noway! I’m not gonna end it this way!-

Her: Ugh… Your punctuation gets me a shiver in the spine :|

Him: Haha. That’s a good or a bad thing?

Her: Punctuation consumes a lot of the only 140 characters that you have so… Use it wisely I guess LOL

-Really? Punctuation? Consumption?! My goodness… SHOOT ME PLEASE-

-EndOfPartThree-

Me, Myself & I

I am here writing, to you my viewers, an entry from which they call, a heart-to-heart.

Haha I am still thinking of a way to begin this entry. I had everything in my mind last night, I wanted to write it down, I should’ve, but I was too tired. Don’t blame me, all the tears of shock and disappointment were running across my cheek, holding me back from any happy thought…

Not very long ago, I met a person whom I used to hate like there was no tomorrow. I hated her guts. I hated her presence. I hated her existence. And yes, I was jealous for the fact that she took my place in my friends’ hearts, and I’m saying that because I know she did.

Day by day, I grew to realize how much wrong I was about her. Many of my assumptions turned out to be completely the opposite. I didn’t know what to do with myself because of all the horrible false accusations. I blamed myself like hell, because this person whom I hated the most became the closest of a person could ever be to me.

I told her hell of a lot of things, and she did just the same. You know the feeling were you have a friend that no matter how many little of times you see, this friend would still be close to your heart? Yeah, that was exactly how we both felt. I was amazed by such a friendship; I never knew I’d ever have such. I talked to everyone about it, I bragged about it, I’ve written about it to everyone! It was the perfect phase of my life where everything just fell into place.

Notice the past tense in my previous paragraph? Yeah, that friendship doesn’t exist anymore. Apparently, she did not appreciate what we had, or at least she did for just that period of time. I thought, I don’t blame her, I might be boring, I might be annoying, I might have talked a lot, and I thought, I’m gonna change.

Just when I was ready to change, it hit me. I change? For a person who didn’t appreciate my own self? For a person who doesn’t want to be my friend because of how I act? For a person who would NOT change for my sake either? Excuse me, but that just doesn’t work for me. If I am ever to be loved and appreciated, it will be because of who I truly am! It will be because of my true self! It will be because of own traits that are wanted by many, many other people out there.

I love myself for whoever I am. Life IS too short to hate anyway! And no, I don’t hate her, I hold no grudges on her and I have no hard feelings towards her. In fact, I am very much thankful for all the lessons I’ve learned. It’s amazing how much you learn from a person you dislike than a person you like!

She once told me to narrow my circle of friends and keep in touch with the ones I only care about the most, and I did, and I regret it! Because once you know the due date of your life, you’ll cry. You’ll cry like no other. You know why? Not because you’re parting life, but because you’ll realize you don’t have enough friends to mourn for your death. Because you’ll realize that there aren’t enough people to remember your good deeds; because you’ll realize you wont be missed as much as you thought or wanted; because you’ll realize you wont be remembered as the girl who “…” (fill in the blank!).

Flashbacks. Memories. Remorse. Yesterday night, it all hit me. I wont waste my time pushing people away, I wont narrow the circle of my friends, I’ll expand it wider than ever, and yes, I’ll care about each and every single one of them. She had a problem with appreciation and I wont be like her. I wont act like a sister for a couple of weeks and ditch like you did. It hurt me, and I don’t think she realizes it, but you know what else she didn’t realize? That she made me a great favor teaching me such a lesson in a very short while. Thank you, my dear.

Be you. Be proud of who you are. Befriend people who love you for who you are. Be the person who strongly stands for what position you are in. Be the person you want to be, and don’t change for the sake of other’s pleasure.

The more the haters, the faster the self-construction.

I love you, my folks. I love you, my family. I love you, my friends. And I love me, myself & I.

A Klutzy Flub - Two

She knew he had sensed it, nevertheless, she wanted him! Cheap? Nah… She was just hopeless. You know why? Because he was hell of a lovable person! Everyone loved him, everyone praised him and she was ever too shy to tell him anything.

She never really replied to any of his tweets, but she needed him to notice her! There was something that she knew he liked, Starbucks. One thing that makes her giggle whenever she reads the name. Now? Every sniff of coffee reminds her by him.

She liked him.

She loved him.

One thing she would never forget is that when she broke up with her boyfriend and tweeted all those broken and devastated tweets, he’d retweet them. She knew something was going on with him too. She always wanted to ask, but hey, who the hell is she to ask him what had happened? I mean, out of all people, she’d choose him? What would he think of her? She may be his personal stalker, but she doesn’t want to freak him out, now, does she?

Whenever she tried to approach, she had this feeling where her blood is pumping real fast in her veins and she would just stop and imagine the word “PATHETIC” in neon in front of her eyes. It was sad. This isn’t how nature works. But… Till when is she gonna wait for nature to take an action?

-EndOfPartTwo-

A Klutzy Flub - One

She didn’t really know how it all started, but she blames Twitter.

He was just one of them; just a normal guy, like any other, tweeting, talking about anything and everything.

He had a habit that bugged her, he abuses punctuation. She found it “smart” sometimes, but at others, especially when he goes like “Haha.” she just shrugs.

She was wondering about a hell lot of things. She had to guess his name since he had only his first initial written and very little about him in his bio. She needed to know more. Yes, she NEEDED to.

It irritated her that she was too obvious and him being so mysterious.

She searched everywhere. She first started at his timeline. Went waay back, read every tweet, retweet and reply. She loved his talent, script writing. She collected all his stories on a document and named it “His Flair”.

She googled his Twitter name, since that’s the only nickname she knows of him. She found him on a couple of websites; Tumblr, Wordpress, Flickr… But she was just not lucky enough to get his full name so she’d find his Facebook profile!

Yet, that didn’t stop her…

She was so clumsy, and he was just… Charmingly smart! She was loud and spontaneous and he was calm and well-mannered. She talked to anyone and everyone but he was picky; even though he followed almost 160 people, he didn’t reply to anything and anyone, and if he did, it’s very formal!

She was everything he’s not, which made him a hell of a hard target.

But she was determined; she wanted him, only him…

-EndOfPartOne-

Crave for Salvation

My brain tangled in a whole new way, my head craving for salvation, my eyes burn, my cheeks suffer from the carved path of tears, my ears bleeding, refusing to absorb the truth, my cracked lips trembling with fear, fear of being forgotten…

My distorted thoughts knock me down whenever I implore for a peaceful moment; vague screams, nebulous shrieks, exactly like a dark room and all that you can see is faded hands reaching for the apex, pleading for some mercy…

My heavy head leaning to one side, asking my eyes to shut their lids before losing control of the rest of my body, before losing its’ balance to stay strong and vigilant, to face the demons that are hovering over me, murmuring transgression into my bleeding ears…

“COMMEMORATION?” my lungs yell. Bursting in tears, air seems like it lost its’ way into my throat; sobbing, struggling to breathe while my lungs are vehemently pounding against my ribs; a guilty desire to escape…

Those shuddering hands of mine trying to reach my face, trying to wipe my singed cheeks from all those burning salty droplets, but again, failing to make me feel any better. “There is no breakout,” my hopeless conscience reminds me…

Now what? …Till when? Why…?

Those words that are invading my mind are kind of keeping me company at the moment. Instead of being cuddled alone under the sheets, hard to rest my head on the wet soaked pillows, thinking of 'you' makes it all. I do not like placing blames upon anyone, but I beg of you not to leave grasp of my hand… I do not want to be a dimmed memory fading as you move on with your life… I divulge the enigma in me, I am afraid…

I can sense my heart thudding in my head, panting due to racing thoughts… My toes are cold even though I’m all covered up, my fingers have turned to purple; goosebumps on every inch my body, chills making my spinal chord stand up straight… My vision is getting blurry, my thoughts cleared the field, my mind is light… I'm losing control, I’m falling on my back; it’s hard to breathe…

I feel… numb.

I'm a Dreamer

I kept staring at the screen not knowing how to begin this entry. A lot of feelings in my mind are hungry to be written, but I am not exactly sure how to translate those feelings into words…

I have been talking to a dear friend of mine about to enter her 11th grade; she wants to be a Chef. I told her that her dream is wonderful, not many locals are famous by their cooking and own a restaurant. She told me she had obstacles, that there is a high possibility that her dream won’t exactly happen.

I was just like her when I entered highschool…

I was this girl full of various dreams. My imagination was wild and I saw myself in different places. I saw me as a cartoonist in Japan, all of these people around me, waiting for me to make up an idea for the next anime. Everyone praised me on my light hand in drawing; everyone was waiting for my next sketch. People came to me in the middle of the mall and said, “Oh my God, it’s HER who drew that anime!!” and come ask for a quick caricature. That dream was amazing.

Another one I had when I was in grade 11, I was a photographer. I held my camera in my hands like a professional, saw the world in a different perspective. Roam the Earth for photos people have never seen before! Open a gallery for myself, exhibitions with grand openings, high ranked business men came to my gallery and asked for a few of my photographs; it was a way of living! It was marvelous.

I was obedient in my 12th grade; I had a bigger dream. I believed in myself, I believed that a tiny person like me CAN change people’s perspective to many things. I believed that I can accomplish things others never had the chance to. People say, start where others ended; I say, I start from where ever I want because this is MY journey, MY accomplishments under MY name. I wanted to be a director. I saw me in that position. Those aviator shades, underneath them lies a big smile, before it held a huge microphone that is yelled at “CUT” and “ACTION”; having to put a leg over the other, watching people move under my command is just… my dream.

I faced a hell lot of obstacles. I didn’t exactly get the needed support from my family, but I convinced them, because when there is a will, there’s always a way. Also, people around me kept talking about the society and how most of them don’t accept a woman as a director, but hey, I am not playing here, I am working to change people’s point of views towards many aspects in life! To prove them wrong! To tell them that a woman CAN be whatever she wants AND be part of the society whatsoever.

But then again… reality strikes in.

You dream as much as you want, you feed your imagination with wild horizons; all these 14 years in school are just a journey to reality, university. Normally, inspirations around you make you want to dream more, dream big, but when the time comes, you should take those inspirations and make then a solid reality. Be this person who takes his childhood dreams all the way up! Never give up your dreams for some obstacles, those are just the “bricks” that you’ll pass by in your journey! They shouldn’t let you down; these are YOUR dreams along with YOUR own unique inspirations! Who knows, you may inspire a lot of audience out there.

I know a friend called Dubai Abulhoul (@DubaiAbulhoul on Twitter), masha’Allah she didn’t even wait till university! She turned her dreams into reality when she’s only in the 7th grade (Youngest Director in the Middle East, GFF)! She’s in the 10th grade now and she's such a wild dreamer, and I can proudly admit that this 10th grader inspired me. She’s an idol to those in her age, younger AND elder.

A lot are able to dream, not a lot are able to make it happen.
Be different, make it happen.







PS: took me 2 days to write this, I hope it’s as good as it seems x)

How Very Déclassé

Dear Al,

It was a very random day. I was in ColdStone with my cousins. You were tanned. You were wearing a kandoora and had a ghetra on. You had your aviator on the end of your nose and a Mont Blanc pen hung on your kandoora’s button. You were holding two mobiles, one black with its’ headphones, and another silver phone. Your head was held up high; your honey eyes were roaming around for a waiter to talk to.

My jaw dropped when I heard you talking. You had a fluent English accent. English, not American. It was like I’ve seen one of the seven wonders! How often do you hear locals talking anything that fluent? LOL!

Anyhow, a waiter came to assist, and you ordered a cake. You asked the waiter to take it down to the parking lot, to your car. The waiter asked for your number, I tried hard not to listen but I did. I thought to myself that I would do nothing about it… Only if you say it again. And the waiter asked you to repeat the number! Odd much? So, the number engraved in my head.

I struggled with my hand, my fingers, not to right down the number, but I did. But then, I had another fight with my head, not to text you in any way! But I did… And I texted, “That was one hell of a great fluent accent!” I was nervously waiting for your reply, and the phone’s beep got me jumping from my place; your text said, “And that was on hell of a weird text?!” I laughed and blushed like I never did before! And we started texting…

It was hilarious, what we had. It was strange. You were not really a friend, not quite a brother, not even a lover… I didn’t know in what category I should list you down in; you were just The Random Guy. We talked about it, over and over again, and so, I was too just The Random Girl.

Days passed, chemistry developed, feelings grew. We had a “thing”.

What I liked about us is that we didn’t know our names for a pretty long while, so you called me Jessica, and I called you Alfredo. I was your Jessy and you were my Al. Even when it happened that we knew each other’s name, it was weird; so we just kept calling ourselves by our nicknames.

I don’t know… We didn’t love each other, but it was just wrong if we don’t text for 5 minutes. I worry. You worry. And we actually argue about why not texting and updating! It was nice… I loved it.

On the 21^st of October, my birthday, you wished me a happy birthday at dawn, and disappeared for the rest of the day. I texted you. I called you. I mailed you. I had no reply whatsoever. Until my phone beeped. I jumped from my place and you have no idea how the adrenaline rush I had made me shiver, my tummy twisted! I opened the message and it said, “Who is this?”.

I just could not overcome my shock. Your cousin told me you left the country to study, left to Australia… He told me you left for good.

I did not know whether to laugh or cry. Whether to delete the message and sleep, or still have hope that you might text again. You told me everything, Al. You told me about your past, your shameful background, your migraine, where you go, when you go, HOW you go and with whom! Why was this most important single detail so hard to tell me? I would have understood! It’s your studies! Even if I asked you not to leave, you would have anyway! But you would’ve at least told me!!

You talked to me about how much you tried to vanish from your old world, start a new one, a new life, a new style of living, and just leave the past behind… Bravo, you vanished. You know what’s funny though? That I, not even for a split of a second, thought that you would consider me a part of “your past”.

I don’t know why I haven’t wrote this the minute I met you, but I just received a text from you, saying how much you miss the old days… Well, guess what? I’ve put them right behind my shoulder.

How very déclassé... Thanks for the lesson.

Eternally grateful,

Jessy.

Our Rendezvous

Her highlights tangled with her dyed hair, falling on her face. She placed her toufa behind her ears, so she can have a better view on her eyes. She blinked. She blushed. I hope he likes how I look like. She drew straight lines by the liquid eyeliner on her eyelids, looked again. Beautiful. She giggled. She reached out for the red lipstick, brushed it on her lower lip, smoothly. She stamped it to her upper lip, and she had heart-shaped lips under her nose.

She gazed at the beauty upon the mirror she stood in front of. She always underestimated her charming smile with her beautifully aligned teeth, her pretty cheekbones, her wide royal blue eyes, her long lashes that brushed her cheeks whenever she blushed and looked at the ground, her symmetrical doll face.

She stood. Dropped the silk maroon robe on the ground, walked across the room, heading to a long zipped black bag hung on her cabinet’s handle. She slowly pulled the zipper down. She stood there, staring, still amazed by the magnificent bloody red, diamond-braided, dantel-sewed dress. She could not believe a girl like her actually owned a dress looking like that. She slipped her slim structure into the dress, slowly, so she won’t ruin anything. She sat on her bed, sunk in, wanted to have a moment of blank. She cleared her mind of everything. She felt light, she felt happy.

Her alarm set at 12 snapped her into reality. She opened her eyes wide, aware, looked around while lying on the bed, a smile drawn on her face. She sat up gently. Turned to the side of the bed. She slipped her 39-sized foot in her high Cinderella-like heels. Brushed her hair one more time. She swayed across the room, her hair waving hello, her legs swinging with joy, her dress dancing with amore. It’s time! She raced downstairs. Took out all the candles she kept, lit them up one by one, smiling wider with each candle sparkled. She placed a bunch at every corner, she felt the warmth in the place, and she felt the love. I hope he feels it too.

While examining the place, looking for any particle of dust, the doorbell rang. And it rang loud enough to get her butterflies. Her spine stood up straight, goosebumps all over her body. She looked at the door. Finally, he’s here! She took baby steps to the door, and she wore the most beautiful smile on her face a person could ever imagine. She rushed herself. Her hands swinging with happiness, her hair flying with all kinds of ecstasy, and her heels clicking against the ground less the more she reached the door.

She opened the door. A man stood there with a bouquet of red roses. She looked confused, perplexed, that’s not the man she was anxiously waiting for… She took out the card on the roses, and it said;

“I am so sorry baby, I did not intend to die, I did not intend to hide my disease… Forgive me, I did not intend to miss our rendezvous.”

Oh Hush My Wounds..

"صهٍ يا جروحي.. سكـــــــــوت!"

اندهشت.. و كأنني لم أندهش من قبل!

فقد كنت امرأة لا أرى في الحب فائدة..

لا أستحقرهم..

لا أكرههم..

لكنني أتعجب من فِطرة حبهم!

ولكن، ها قد جاء اليوم الذي أتعجب فيه من نفسي..

فقد، يا عزيزي، أحببت!

أحببت، و تألمت، و ضحكت، و تعذبت..

نعم، تعذبت، و إلى الآن أتعذب..

لكن لا أندم، و أكرر، لا أندم على هذا الحب،

لم أندم عليه و لن أندم عليه قط!

و خضوعي للألم هذا ليس بشيء غريب، لا والله!

نعم تضايقت في البدء، لا أنكر هذا،

ولكنني، يا عزيزي، قوية.. صامدة!

لأنه يضحك، لأنه يبتسم، لأنه سعيد مع غيري..

تركني لحب آخر،

تركني لشخص آخر،

تركني و عزلني عن الحب الوحيد الذي كنت أتمسك به،

عزلني عن الحب الوحيد الذي كنت أتّكل عليه،

عزلني عن الحب الوحيد الذي كان يضيف "الحياة" لحياتي..

أتألم عندما تمر هذه الخاطرة و تجوب في بالي..

أتألم، لكنني أبتسم و الدمع في عينَي، عندما أتذكر أنه سعيد..

أحاول أن أصغي إلى ضميري، إلى جروحي..

أحاول أن أصغي إلى أنينهم و صياحهم،

و أنقلب ضدهم!

أسمعهم يسبونه،

أسمعهم يشتمونه،

لما فعل بي من آهات و آلام،

لما فعل في من طعنةٍ في القلب،

لما فعل بي من خيانة..

و أصيح عليهم مرددتاً:

"اسكتوا! توقفوا!

لازلت أحبه،

لازلت أحلم به،

لازلت أتمنى رجوعه إلي.."

يستغربون مني،

يستغربون من صمودي،

يتساءلون عن سبب استمرار هذا الحب!

يبدأون بأنينهم من جديد،

و يقولون لي و هم في حالة استغراب و استنكار:

"ما هذا؟! ما هذا يا نور؟!

لم الحب الجم؟! لم الصمود؟!

لا يحبك! لا يريدك! لا يتمناك!

فهنالك شخص آخر قد احتل مكانك في حياتهِ!"

و لكنني كلّي أملٌ أن يرجع إلي من جديد،

و هذه حقيقة هم لا يدركونها..

فهلّ الدمع من عَيناي، و إرتفع صوت أنيني، و صرخت قائله:

"صهٍ يا جروحي.. سكـــــــــوت!"

أحبك.

اشتقت إليك.

أنتظر رجوعك.

3 May 2010

FAI-NUH-LEE!

*PHEW*

Finally a title! Finally a name! Finally a BLOG!

They started asking for my number and PO Box shit :| and I was like.. Whaaa?!

Whoa this took time.. LOL.

Always wanted to create a blog, well.. Not really XD but I was amazed by all the good writings in some of the blogs, so I was kinda "inspired" to have one too..

Okaay.. This started awfully but hey, it's my first, it has to suck :P so when I'm a famous writer, I go back at my blog, look at the very first entry, and laugh like hell :D I think..

Anyway! Let's start again, shall we :D?

I am a young artist who just graduated from highschool. Very random, always spontaneous. I can be so colorful at times, and very dull at other.

I am the kind of person that can NOT live without my family and friends, like, NEVER, I even plan to get my hubby with me and stay in my family's house XD. Okay not to that extent, but you get the point :$ haha. Oh and, to all my friends out there, AY LAFF YOU BIG TIME ♥.

I'm a newly born amateur Photographer,

I'm a 5-year-long Graphic Designer,

And I'm a Cartoonist since forever.

I appreciate art, no matter how ugly the piece is, it's still called art to it's artist and it's worked on a lot.

I used to listen to khaleejy songs, then got over it -thank God- and started listening to English music. I was into R&B and HipHop, but after this wonderful person (will be called X) entered my life, X made me LOVE Rock. Now, my iPod's iTunes consist of 85% Rock, and the other songs are some of the old R&B and HipHop I used to listen to XP.

I can be very sensitive at some point, and very strong at another. I talk a lot, I advice a lot, I console a lot; I'm the kind that loves to satisfy people surrounding me.

Talking about satisfaction, I am a very nice person, too nice to the extent that I do not mind to give more than what I get. I don't care if I get or if I don't. I can sacrifice a lot for the ones I love, I can go far for them, so far I they'd feel I'm obsessed with them.. And I would be.

I can NOT live a day without listening to music. I can't. Like.. it's not possible :|!

As I mentioned before, I'm a very spontaneous person. I take risks and make lifetime decisions. I'm loved because of this trait; I always push people forward, I'm very optimistic, always happy and in for new stuff. I'm wanting to Sky Dive and Bunji Jump since forever but my dad isn't helping XD haha.. I love him ♥.

I know I'm young and I still don't have the freedom of doing whatever whenever, but I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to be told to do anything or even locked up in a place. I get this thing in me, I have to move, I have to run, I have to leap and I can't to that if a person is pressuring me about something. I used to be extremely stubborn, but X was even worse, so I am now kind of flexible. I change my mind quite frequently, but if I put something in mind, a goal, a target, I stick to it till the end. I'm a very ambitious person.

I have done many mistakes in my life and I'm still having them, but I'm not a flawless person, and most importantly, I don't regret them. In fact, as much as I'v got mistakes, I kinda don't regret doing anything in my life. Those mistakes taught me a whole lot more than I thought they would, pointed out stuff I never realized.

I mentioned in my profile that I'm not a wordful person and I don't go through philosophy and shit, but I do tend to talk a lot, as you can see, I haven't finished talking about who the hell and what kind of person I am :P haha. There would be some point where because I'm talking a lot, you won't understand and I'd get you all mixed up; I love elaborating, and my elaboration may be as clear as a sun (cliché, i know :P) or may be extremely confusing that you'd itch your head to death.. LOL.

There 'ought to be times where I judge people out of first impressions, but I assure you it's never intentional, it's a first impression after all. I'm not the kind that judges anyway, I accept people however, and if it bugs me, I try considering the situations they go through behind the scenes, you never know what happens when you don't see them :).

Now that you know what's on stage, there's the backstage that's still hidden which will be soon revealed; so accept me as I am, I don't guarantee you anything, I don't claim perfection, but I'm a perfectionist.

I am.. Just me.

~nawariCo ♥