Our Rendezvous

Her highlights tangled with her dyed hair, falling on her face. She placed her toufa behind her ears, so she can have a better view on her eyes. She blinked. She blushed. I hope he likes how I look like. She drew straight lines by the liquid eyeliner on her eyelids, looked again. Beautiful. She giggled. She reached out for the red lipstick, brushed it on her lower lip, smoothly. She stamped it to her upper lip, and she had heart-shaped lips under her nose.

She gazed at the beauty upon the mirror she stood in front of. She always underestimated her charming smile with her beautifully aligned teeth, her pretty cheekbones, her wide royal blue eyes, her long lashes that brushed her cheeks whenever she blushed and looked at the ground, her symmetrical doll face.

She stood. Dropped the silk maroon robe on the ground, walked across the room, heading to a long zipped black bag hung on her cabinet’s handle. She slowly pulled the zipper down. She stood there, staring, still amazed by the magnificent bloody red, diamond-braided, dantel-sewed dress. She could not believe a girl like her actually owned a dress looking like that. She slipped her slim structure into the dress, slowly, so she won’t ruin anything. She sat on her bed, sunk in, wanted to have a moment of blank. She cleared her mind of everything. She felt light, she felt happy.

Her alarm set at 12 snapped her into reality. She opened her eyes wide, aware, looked around while lying on the bed, a smile drawn on her face. She sat up gently. Turned to the side of the bed. She slipped her 39-sized foot in her high Cinderella-like heels. Brushed her hair one more time. She swayed across the room, her hair waving hello, her legs swinging with joy, her dress dancing with amore. It’s time! She raced downstairs. Took out all the candles she kept, lit them up one by one, smiling wider with each candle sparkled. She placed a bunch at every corner, she felt the warmth in the place, and she felt the love. I hope he feels it too.

While examining the place, looking for any particle of dust, the doorbell rang. And it rang loud enough to get her butterflies. Her spine stood up straight, goosebumps all over her body. She looked at the door. Finally, he’s here! She took baby steps to the door, and she wore the most beautiful smile on her face a person could ever imagine. She rushed herself. Her hands swinging with happiness, her hair flying with all kinds of ecstasy, and her heels clicking against the ground less the more she reached the door.

She opened the door. A man stood there with a bouquet of red roses. She looked confused, perplexed, that’s not the man she was anxiously waiting for… She took out the card on the roses, and it said;

“I am so sorry baby, I did not intend to die, I did not intend to hide my disease… Forgive me, I did not intend to miss our rendezvous.”

Oh Hush My Wounds..

"صهٍ يا جروحي.. سكـــــــــوت!"

اندهشت.. و كأنني لم أندهش من قبل!

فقد كنت امرأة لا أرى في الحب فائدة..

لا أستحقرهم..

لا أكرههم..

لكنني أتعجب من فِطرة حبهم!

ولكن، ها قد جاء اليوم الذي أتعجب فيه من نفسي..

فقد، يا عزيزي، أحببت!

أحببت، و تألمت، و ضحكت، و تعذبت..

نعم، تعذبت، و إلى الآن أتعذب..

لكن لا أندم، و أكرر، لا أندم على هذا الحب،

لم أندم عليه و لن أندم عليه قط!

و خضوعي للألم هذا ليس بشيء غريب، لا والله!

نعم تضايقت في البدء، لا أنكر هذا،

ولكنني، يا عزيزي، قوية.. صامدة!

لأنه يضحك، لأنه يبتسم، لأنه سعيد مع غيري..

تركني لحب آخر،

تركني لشخص آخر،

تركني و عزلني عن الحب الوحيد الذي كنت أتمسك به،

عزلني عن الحب الوحيد الذي كنت أتّكل عليه،

عزلني عن الحب الوحيد الذي كان يضيف "الحياة" لحياتي..

أتألم عندما تمر هذه الخاطرة و تجوب في بالي..

أتألم، لكنني أبتسم و الدمع في عينَي، عندما أتذكر أنه سعيد..

أحاول أن أصغي إلى ضميري، إلى جروحي..

أحاول أن أصغي إلى أنينهم و صياحهم،

و أنقلب ضدهم!

أسمعهم يسبونه،

أسمعهم يشتمونه،

لما فعل بي من آهات و آلام،

لما فعل في من طعنةٍ في القلب،

لما فعل بي من خيانة..

و أصيح عليهم مرددتاً:

"اسكتوا! توقفوا!

لازلت أحبه،

لازلت أحلم به،

لازلت أتمنى رجوعه إلي.."

يستغربون مني،

يستغربون من صمودي،

يتساءلون عن سبب استمرار هذا الحب!

يبدأون بأنينهم من جديد،

و يقولون لي و هم في حالة استغراب و استنكار:

"ما هذا؟! ما هذا يا نور؟!

لم الحب الجم؟! لم الصمود؟!

لا يحبك! لا يريدك! لا يتمناك!

فهنالك شخص آخر قد احتل مكانك في حياتهِ!"

و لكنني كلّي أملٌ أن يرجع إلي من جديد،

و هذه حقيقة هم لا يدركونها..

فهلّ الدمع من عَيناي، و إرتفع صوت أنيني، و صرخت قائله:

"صهٍ يا جروحي.. سكـــــــــوت!"

أحبك.

اشتقت إليك.

أنتظر رجوعك.

3 May 2010

FAI-NUH-LEE!

*PHEW*

Finally a title! Finally a name! Finally a BLOG!

They started asking for my number and PO Box shit :| and I was like.. Whaaa?!

Whoa this took time.. LOL.

Always wanted to create a blog, well.. Not really XD but I was amazed by all the good writings in some of the blogs, so I was kinda "inspired" to have one too..

Okaay.. This started awfully but hey, it's my first, it has to suck :P so when I'm a famous writer, I go back at my blog, look at the very first entry, and laugh like hell :D I think..

Anyway! Let's start again, shall we :D?

I am a young artist who just graduated from highschool. Very random, always spontaneous. I can be so colorful at times, and very dull at other.

I am the kind of person that can NOT live without my family and friends, like, NEVER, I even plan to get my hubby with me and stay in my family's house XD. Okay not to that extent, but you get the point :$ haha. Oh and, to all my friends out there, AY LAFF YOU BIG TIME ♥.

I'm a newly born amateur Photographer,

I'm a 5-year-long Graphic Designer,

And I'm a Cartoonist since forever.

I appreciate art, no matter how ugly the piece is, it's still called art to it's artist and it's worked on a lot.

I used to listen to khaleejy songs, then got over it -thank God- and started listening to English music. I was into R&B and HipHop, but after this wonderful person (will be called X) entered my life, X made me LOVE Rock. Now, my iPod's iTunes consist of 85% Rock, and the other songs are some of the old R&B and HipHop I used to listen to XP.

I can be very sensitive at some point, and very strong at another. I talk a lot, I advice a lot, I console a lot; I'm the kind that loves to satisfy people surrounding me.

Talking about satisfaction, I am a very nice person, too nice to the extent that I do not mind to give more than what I get. I don't care if I get or if I don't. I can sacrifice a lot for the ones I love, I can go far for them, so far I they'd feel I'm obsessed with them.. And I would be.

I can NOT live a day without listening to music. I can't. Like.. it's not possible :|!

As I mentioned before, I'm a very spontaneous person. I take risks and make lifetime decisions. I'm loved because of this trait; I always push people forward, I'm very optimistic, always happy and in for new stuff. I'm wanting to Sky Dive and Bunji Jump since forever but my dad isn't helping XD haha.. I love him ♥.

I know I'm young and I still don't have the freedom of doing whatever whenever, but I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to be told to do anything or even locked up in a place. I get this thing in me, I have to move, I have to run, I have to leap and I can't to that if a person is pressuring me about something. I used to be extremely stubborn, but X was even worse, so I am now kind of flexible. I change my mind quite frequently, but if I put something in mind, a goal, a target, I stick to it till the end. I'm a very ambitious person.

I have done many mistakes in my life and I'm still having them, but I'm not a flawless person, and most importantly, I don't regret them. In fact, as much as I'v got mistakes, I kinda don't regret doing anything in my life. Those mistakes taught me a whole lot more than I thought they would, pointed out stuff I never realized.

I mentioned in my profile that I'm not a wordful person and I don't go through philosophy and shit, but I do tend to talk a lot, as you can see, I haven't finished talking about who the hell and what kind of person I am :P haha. There would be some point where because I'm talking a lot, you won't understand and I'd get you all mixed up; I love elaborating, and my elaboration may be as clear as a sun (cliché, i know :P) or may be extremely confusing that you'd itch your head to death.. LOL.

There 'ought to be times where I judge people out of first impressions, but I assure you it's never intentional, it's a first impression after all. I'm not the kind that judges anyway, I accept people however, and if it bugs me, I try considering the situations they go through behind the scenes, you never know what happens when you don't see them :).

Now that you know what's on stage, there's the backstage that's still hidden which will be soon revealed; so accept me as I am, I don't guarantee you anything, I don't claim perfection, but I'm a perfectionist.

I am.. Just me.

~nawariCo ♥