Apologetic Remarks

Hello you.

It's been three days since we had any form of interaction. We're both stubborn and that's bad. None of us is initiating a move, even though I know we are both dying from the inside, waiting for the other end of the line to say something. Anything. Might not be enough, but not be the right time, but anything would do. I know.

I also know we are both crying ourselves to sleep. I know we are faking our smiles to get through the day. I know we both are regretting our last words, wishing we could take them back. I know if we could apologize, we would. I know if we could fight for each other like we used to, we would. But what is it that's stopping us? That, I don't know.

Is it pride? Is it what's holding us back from apologizing? Is it what's keeping us from taking the first step? No? Then what? What could it possibly be? Conscience? Deep down we are convinced that the other person is wrong? That the other person is 'supposed' to say something first? Have I done something wrong? Yes I have. I have broken a promise. Have you done something wrong? Yes you have. You have broken a promise. We both promised forever, and now this word is no longer in our dictionary, it has vanished into thin air.

Do you think, maybe, if we both apologized at the same time, it would be okay? If we both step on our pride, throw a middle finger to our conscience and apologized, it would be okay? I don't know, but what I know is that I haven't wanted a person in my life as I have wanted you, want you, and will want you.

Maybe I am not the best at making things clear, but I miss you. Maybe I am not the best at showing what's inside me, but I love you. Maybe I am not the best at doing a certain act, but I wanna hug you so bad right now. Maybe I am not the best at stating a point, but I want you forever. And I realize that I am not the best person to share a life with, but for you, I will try.

I don't promise you change, because it is my given right that you love me the way I am, with my good and my bad, with my blessings and my flaws, with my pretty and my ugly, from attitude to behavior; I don't promise you change, but I promise you I can work on my bad, I can alter my flaws, and I can modify my ugly. And you? I love you. I love your bad, I adore your flaws, and I appreciate your ugly. Why? Because I am in a position where I am willing to share my life with you.

I may be dreaming, I may sound like I want a fairytale, I may be asking for something magical.... But I deserve it. Exactly like you deserve it, exactly like everyone else in this mad world deserves it.

I realize I made a sudden decision, which I enormously regret, and I am ashamed of what I have done, but maybe, just maybe, it's a sign to show you that you deserve better. It's a sign to tell you that you deserve a person better than I am, with less bad, flaws, and ugly. It's a sign to clarify your clouded judgment, a judgment clouded by love; a message that says you are a wonderful, magnificent, glorious and a marvelous person.

I have no clue how to initiate the first move, I have no clue how to take the first step, I have no clue how to justify my actions, I have no clue how I can ever make you forget what I have done, I have no clue how to apologize, because you have no clue of the vast guilt that is being held upon my fragile soul. But for what it's worth, I am sorry.

Parley: TVs ARE HARMFUL, no?

There has been a debate around this issue, on whether T.V causes health problems to children or not. Some point at parents and say that it is their responsibility; others do not really believe that it has anything to do with television in the first place. Come to realize and after looking at many surveys, it has been noticed that children are suffering from specific health problems that are caused by the television’s excessive radiation caused by excessive hours in front of the television, and other physical health issues too! “A recent study from Australia found that it greatly increase the possibility of diseases for those who sit in front of television for too long. Meanwhile, it will shorten the life span by several years” says Wang Xi Xiang.

Pessimists think, young children are emotionally vulnerable and ads are developed to take advantage of that vulnerability, so one of their complaints is “emotional health” disorder. James Steyer states in his book, The Other Parent, that television advertisements for kids make them think that they are “losers” if they do not purchase that specific product, or in other words, it lowers their self-esteem. Allen Kanner and Tim Kasser stated that “advertisers have hired psychological consultants to study every phase and stage of a child's life, and then used the results to develop sophisticated commercials that have the desired effect on our children.”

Aside of the entire emotional dilemma comes physical issues. Numerous studies have linked being overweight with watching television, because it both reduces children's physical activity and subjects them to food advertisements with high fat and sugar content; given that the most common products addressed to children include sugared cereals, candies, sodas, and snack foods. A kid’s contribution to such food may increase the number of overweight children and the rise in diabetes, especially given the inactive behavior of many others.

Nevertheless, for every disadvantage there must be an advantage. Sure, spending lots of hours watching the T.V makes a kid a “couch potato” and it distracts him away from other activities; also, being able to participate in physical activities and sports reduces to a great extent, so when you think about it, even creativity is affected! But again, Television does replace other activities, like being able to interact with friends and peers online, summing up all the homework and projects, and pretty much improving their skills.

As previously stated, being glued to the television screen makes the child obese for the child tends to eat and have snacks in between shows. Therefore, the basal metabolic rate drops down noticeably since the child is helplessly inactive. Television also causes lots of trouble in the child’s behavior and disorder. “Statistics show an overwhelming rise in behavioral issues like aggression, obstinacy, violence, and hyperactivity, amongst children, which find their way in to adulthood,” says researcher David Dunstan.

Numerous studies and “clinical trials” stated that excessive television viewing contributes in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, ADHD. If the hours of TV watched exceed a certain level, a child's brain may be wired to respond more to the TV environment (rapid changes of sounds and images) than the natural environment. Sleep is affected to a great extent. Insomnia or sleeplessness, or altered sleep patterns have been demonstrated.

As my article obviously states, the disadvantages of excessive hours in front of a television contributes to many health problems in widely different aspects. The child is still growing and so, he must be experiencing life in various ways and by numerous means, least of them is watching television. Maybe if the parents were well aware of what television causes, they’d allow the child to have less television sessions or video games and more outdoor activities and practically improvement of skills!

Bibliography

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) and Emotional Health

http://www.limitv.org/health.htm

Article “Pay Attention to the Health Problems Caused by Television” by Wang Xi Xiang

http://ezinearticles.com

TV Time for Kids May Increase Behavior Problems, Health Risks

http://news.health.com

“Turn off the TV. Too much television may lead to health problems” by Helen Fields

http://health.usnews.com

“Too much television, internet linked to long-term health problems for children...” by the LifeSiteNews.

http://www.tldm.org

“Tv Causes Obesity, Heart Problems | Television Health Risks | How Tv Affects Children | TV Health Effects” by David Dunstan

http://www.tandurust.com

Les Difformes

Le début ⎯

Today was lovely, exciting, wonderful, and all of the other synonyms! After a stressful week of final exams, she’s finally able to have a good walk outside; fresh air across her face, whistling melodic leaves travel her ears, cold breezes down her spine, and the smell of freedom through her nostrils.

Mother: What are you up to today?

Isabelle: I’m not sure. I thought maybe we could have a coffee and catch up?

Mother: Sounds great! I’m glad you still think of me as a friend!

Isabelle: Haha oh mother, despite of all my “friends”, you’re the one who stood by me the most after all.

Mother: Wonderful.. Get properly dressed in a few, we’ll hit the mall.

Isabelle: Are we going to stay there for long?

Mother: Why? You have plans afterwards? Is it your brother?

Isabelle (sighs & looks away): Not exactly.. But I thought of making some plans with him later on, since I've heard that he’ll be leaving the country in a couple of days.

Mother (notices the sadness): Absolutely. What do you say we cancel our plans for today, and you go along with Andre? We’ll head off some other time.

Isabelle (over-joyed): Are you sure? He’s not leaving until next Thursday!

Mother: No worries mon chéri.

Isabelle is filled with ecstasy.

Andre in his messy apartment, blabbering and trying to look around for anything his eyes would have missed. He was packing, for he is going to leave to study in America, maybe even stay there. His phone rings but he’s not sure he wants to answer; he looks, he shrugs, he wonders, he answers..

Isabelle: Brother! Hey, how are you??

Andre: Bella.. Hi. I’m.. living. You?

Isabelle: I'm ecstatic! What are you doing?

Andre: Nothing. Nothing at all.

Isabelle: Andre, we share the same blood, I can sense it when something is wrong with you. What is it?

Andre: Eh... you call a week before me traveling? Where were you before?

Isabelle: I was busy with exams! And after what happened with mom and dad, it’s hard to keep up with everything.. Andre, we both know that I shouldn’t explain myself, you’re bigger than this.

Andre: No Bella, I’ve been calling and mailing you for days.. Bella it’s been a year and 7 months.. Almost 2 years Bella, TWO YEARS!

Isabelle: Stop shouting for heaven's sake! Can you please out this behind you? I called to make plans with you, not to argue.

Andre: I’m not free; je suis désolé, ma sœur.

Isabelle: But you just said you had nothing to do!

Andre: I have to start packing.

Isabelle: Your flight is in a week!

Andre: I’m leaving for at least 8 years; I have a lot to pack.

Isabelle: Andre! ⎯

Andre (interrupts): Bella, don’t push it.

Isabelle: I just thought we’d hang out and catch up..

Andre: Catch up? Really? Catch up what? The whole one year & a half??

Isabelle: Stop it! Why are you making it a big deal?!

Andre: Because it is! And you don’t see it that way because you haven’t been in my shoes! It's been almost two years Bella and a lot happened to me and you were not there!

Isabelle: I wasn’t aware of anything!

Andre: Because you never picked up!

(Moment of silence)

Andre: ...Where do you feel like going?

Isabella: Your favorite restaurant.. “De Mimmo”.

Andre: Ahh.. That place.. You still live with ma mère, eh?

Isabella (giggles): Where else would I stay in?

Andre: I'll see you there at 4.

Andre is not quite sure if it was the right decision to meet his sister after all what had happened to him, especially the horrific accident.

De Mimmo. All locals. All true Paris citizens. One thing Andre loved about the place! Everyone in De Mimmo knew Andre and Isabella, along with their parents whom are no longer together.

Andre shyly enters and can sense that all shocked and disturbed eyes were following him; he didn’t blame them, he couldn’t. He chooses a table for two in a lonesome corner and awaits his long-gone sister.

Isabella enters De Mimmo; people greet her, waiters & waitresses are astonished by how much she had grown. She looks around for a blonde-headed, hazel-eyed handsome brother; disappointment covers her face. She thought she was ditched until the corner of her eye catches a glimpse on a handsome man sitting all so alone. She steadily walks towards him...

Isabella: Andre?

Andre (stands & covers his face aggressively): You came!! Why?!

Isabella: But.. I thought we’re supposed to meet. What’s wrong Andre? What had gotten into you?!

Andre (tears flow down & takes off his hand): This, Isabella! THIS what happened to me!!

Isabella crashed in tears as she looks at her once beautiful brother. Andre sobs and Isabella couldn’t do anything but to hug him.

⎯ La Fin.

A Klutzy Flub - CALL OFF.

Ehh...

I'm terribly sorry to tell you that I am no more going to continue this story. I've had a lot of complaints from various people about the content of the story & if I lose my followers, who am I going to write to, right? :)

Anyway, I have a lot of other writings and numerous topics to write & talk about.

Stay tuned!

A Klutzy Flub - Four

Ahh… It’s awkward. She thinks of a way to cool things down, but he’s all that’s occupying her mind.

Is she going to let it go? Go on like nothing happened? She doesn’t know! He got her brain tangled in a whole new way. Let’s see what he would do, eh?

His name is on her search ever since she had eyes on him. So now, whenever he tweets, she gets to be updated by and by. She couldn’t help it, she had to do something.

Her: Do you, by any chance, feel awkward around me?

Him: Nope. I don’t.

Her: Good! Good…

-He’s lying… I’m a girl, I can sense it-

Him: Why would you think that I feel awkward around you?

Her: Err… Because of all the awkward situations that you went thru… Because of me. I mean, you did mention that people came to you and that it’s very “out there”…

Him: Don’t worry about it, I can handle myself. I’m worried about you.

Her: Haha why!

Him: For obvious reasons. Anyways, are my tweets that revealing about me?

Her: Obvious? I wouldn’t ask why if they were… Define “revealing”?

Him: I mean, how can one feel ‘something’ about another from these few tweets when one didn’t even meet another in real life? Cryptic much?

Her: You’d be amazed to know how much just a scene or an incident or even a couple of words affect one’s heart. But then again, how’d you know? :)

Him: I’m talking from experience here, people on Twitter can be VERY different from the image we construct of them.

Her: Haha okay this will sound a little too straight forward from a girl but I think I like your Twitter image quite enough.

Him: That’s the problem! This ‘image’ we construct can be very problematic in the future when/if we meet in person.

Her: You're talking like there aren't people on Twitter who know you in person! There are, and they don't despise you, it would obviously show if you had another personality or whatever… Wouldn't it?

Him: Well, I sure don’t have another personality. It’s just that Twitter is not a good representative of what real life interaction is.

Her: I know what you mean; I’m old enough to realize that. Anyhow, it’s just a feeling, why’d you care anyway? It happens.

Him: Lol I care because, apparently, I’m part of it. Of course I’ll care.

Her: You don't want to be, I know, and it's okay. Think of it as something "fictional". As in, I did what I did so I'd just add something interesting to my life…

-Sigh… This is getting outta hand…-

Him: Yeah well, it’s hard to lie to myself :P I’ll try though.

-EndOfPartFour-

A Klutzy Flub - Three

She was determined. It’s either she waits until he notices her, or she takes an action. She knew one thing for sure, she could NOT wait; she just sat there, staring at his Twitter profile, his timeline, wondering how to start.

She made a scenario of her own. A few, actually. You know why? Because whatever his reaction would be, she’ll be prepared. She didn’t know that when she is going to be in the situation itself, her hands would tremble as if he’s standing right in front of her, gazing right in her eyes, staring at her foolish face.

Her eyes shift to the right, sweeping thru the links, her fingers slowly click on “message X”. She would’ve died for a disconnected Internet service at that very exact moment, but no…

Her: I love you.

-Ohh dammit… It’ been 3 minutes and he haven’t replied yet!! I shouldn't have done this...-

Him: Umm… Mistaken? :P

Her: Umm… No.

Him: Ok. And that is based on what?

-Err… How am I ever going to tell him... I guess I'm gonna pass just this once-

Her: Nevermnd…

Him: Heeey! I wasn’t trying to be an asshole, sorry! ._.

-Hahaha cute…-

Her: No, no… I’m being the “asshole”, nevermind.

Him: Yeah? How?

Her: Err… Nevermind.

Him: As you wish.

-… That’s it? Noway! I’m not gonna end it this way!-

Her: Ugh… Your punctuation gets me a shiver in the spine :|

Him: Haha. That’s a good or a bad thing?

Her: Punctuation consumes a lot of the only 140 characters that you have so… Use it wisely I guess LOL

-Really? Punctuation? Consumption?! My goodness… SHOOT ME PLEASE-

-EndOfPartThree-

Me, Myself & I

I am here writing, to you my viewers, an entry from which they call, a heart-to-heart.

Haha I am still thinking of a way to begin this entry. I had everything in my mind last night, I wanted to write it down, I should’ve, but I was too tired. Don’t blame me, all the tears of shock and disappointment were running across my cheek, holding me back from any happy thought…

Not very long ago, I met a person whom I used to hate like there was no tomorrow. I hated her guts. I hated her presence. I hated her existence. And yes, I was jealous for the fact that she took my place in my friends’ hearts, and I’m saying that because I know she did.

Day by day, I grew to realize how much wrong I was about her. Many of my assumptions turned out to be completely the opposite. I didn’t know what to do with myself because of all the horrible false accusations. I blamed myself like hell, because this person whom I hated the most became the closest of a person could ever be to me.

I told her hell of a lot of things, and she did just the same. You know the feeling were you have a friend that no matter how many little of times you see, this friend would still be close to your heart? Yeah, that was exactly how we both felt. I was amazed by such a friendship; I never knew I’d ever have such. I talked to everyone about it, I bragged about it, I’ve written about it to everyone! It was the perfect phase of my life where everything just fell into place.

Notice the past tense in my previous paragraph? Yeah, that friendship doesn’t exist anymore. Apparently, she did not appreciate what we had, or at least she did for just that period of time. I thought, I don’t blame her, I might be boring, I might be annoying, I might have talked a lot, and I thought, I’m gonna change.

Just when I was ready to change, it hit me. I change? For a person who didn’t appreciate my own self? For a person who doesn’t want to be my friend because of how I act? For a person who would NOT change for my sake either? Excuse me, but that just doesn’t work for me. If I am ever to be loved and appreciated, it will be because of who I truly am! It will be because of my true self! It will be because of own traits that are wanted by many, many other people out there.

I love myself for whoever I am. Life IS too short to hate anyway! And no, I don’t hate her, I hold no grudges on her and I have no hard feelings towards her. In fact, I am very much thankful for all the lessons I’ve learned. It’s amazing how much you learn from a person you dislike than a person you like!

She once told me to narrow my circle of friends and keep in touch with the ones I only care about the most, and I did, and I regret it! Because once you know the due date of your life, you’ll cry. You’ll cry like no other. You know why? Not because you’re parting life, but because you’ll realize you don’t have enough friends to mourn for your death. Because you’ll realize that there aren’t enough people to remember your good deeds; because you’ll realize you wont be missed as much as you thought or wanted; because you’ll realize you wont be remembered as the girl who “…” (fill in the blank!).

Flashbacks. Memories. Remorse. Yesterday night, it all hit me. I wont waste my time pushing people away, I wont narrow the circle of my friends, I’ll expand it wider than ever, and yes, I’ll care about each and every single one of them. She had a problem with appreciation and I wont be like her. I wont act like a sister for a couple of weeks and ditch like you did. It hurt me, and I don’t think she realizes it, but you know what else she didn’t realize? That she made me a great favor teaching me such a lesson in a very short while. Thank you, my dear.

Be you. Be proud of who you are. Befriend people who love you for who you are. Be the person who strongly stands for what position you are in. Be the person you want to be, and don’t change for the sake of other’s pleasure.

The more the haters, the faster the self-construction.

I love you, my folks. I love you, my family. I love you, my friends. And I love me, myself & I.